“Hi dear. I miss you” …(or)… “Baby, can we meet up in the evening? At some private place?” …(or)… “I want to be with you right now. I don’t care how”…(or)… “You are the most beautiful girl I’ve seen in my life. I wish to be with you always”… and those never-ending lines have been experienced by all of us once in our life atleast. Most of us have faced various forms of attraction for the opposite sex. But we don’t really know if its love, lust, infatuation or obsession. So, here I write this article to guide you with few checks and questions you may want to ask yourself to know what is that you have for your special someone.
I see some boy, start liking him, speaking and seeing him everyday, still liking him, and after a while, I have moved on. I don’t think of him as much as I used to before. I am thinking of someone else. Well, you know what this is. INFATUATION, all in capital letters. When in Infatuation, you feel high thinking of that special person. You are in your dreamland singing a duet, all in filmy way and you tend to do stupid things to impress them in some way or the other. Trust me buddy! This is just temporary.
So, you are asking me what Love is?
LOVE. It’s a magic – so beautiful, so true, so divine, and so on. It’s all about those little things. For instance, when you love someone truly, you care about meeting them and not bother about where, how and when. You feel more positive when you are with your love. You are yourself with the person you love without pondering your thoughts over what he/she is going to think if you say you can’t speak to him/her due to some reasons. You trust the other person more than anybody. You are selfless and you cherish every moment of your life with your love. You make efforts in constructive way and empower your love in all possible ways.
You will fight the world for your love. You will disagree, argue, express your differences confidently to your love and still stay in love without fighting. And the most important thing is when you say –“I love you”, you truly would mean it.
You would feel refreshed and comfortable when you are with them, but not necessarily feel weak and threatened when you are away from them. If you keep thinking of them, always, and stay distracted all the time, its either lust or obsession.
Some useful questions you could ask yourself to clarify your doubts about infatuation, love, lust and obsession –
• Does he accept me for what I am or he wants me to change myself according to his wish?
• How does he react to my friends, family members, colleagues and acquaintances? Do they appear as pests to him and he wishes to have me all by himself or does he genuinely enjoy meeting everyone my dear and near ones too?
• How does he handle disagreement with me? Does he get disturbed when I have an independent opinion or does he welcome it?
• In a public place or when introducing to friends or relatives, does he show me off as if I am a trophy that he has won?
• Does he want to be with me at all times (either physically or by telephone) so much so that I find myself getting cut off even from my family? Does his continuous preoccupation with me have started affecting adversely his or my job and normal life routines?
• Would he still care for me if I denied to him what he craves for most? (This may be sex or may be something else) One may also ask the question, would he love me even if due to some reasons beyond my control, I cannot meet him or talk to him for say, a year?
• Are his expressions of passion combined with occasional threats of termination of relationship?
“Love is a relationship of caring and giving. Obsession is a display of power. Love is submergence of ego, while obsession involves display of ego. Confusing obsession with love is like drinking poison when one wants to have milk in its purest form”
The above quote explains in simple terms as to what love is and what love is not. Hence, instead of trying to learn what lust is, what infatuation or obsession is, it is simpler to understand what love is and what it is not. May you find that special one in your life and love them truly with all your heart.